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You Cannot Get Away From Yourself
By Joseph S. Peery Superintendent Y. M. M. I. a. Liberty Stake
"I am associating with myself all the time, day and night, and I do not want to do anything that myself will not approve." These words were dropped in a conversation twenty years ago by United States District Judge Tillman D. Johnson. The event causing the remark is forgotten, but the writer hopes never to forget the words nor the desire to pass them on to others.
"I am with myself all the time," relates not only to this earth life existance, but to the existence of all eternity. When a man does wrong, that wrong is known by at least two persons: by his Maker in his own image, who breaks his Creator's commore he adds to his difficulties, for, either in this life or in the life to come, he must meet them all.
The young man who reasons, "I will have all the fun I can in this life, for I will be a long time dead," and, acting upon this beguiling thought, who goes into dissipation, who rejects the advice that he is the protector of the girl, and who riotously lives the carnal life as a destroyer of virtue and womanhood, who yields to selfish indulgence and degrades the body made by his Maker in His own image, who breaks his Creator's commandments and finally runs his life course of disobedience, will enter the spirit world with knowledge that he lives, with a keen sense of his wasted life and his defiance of the Almighty. The great Latter-day Prophet Joseph Smith tells us, "The agony of hell is mental. The sinner realizes what he has missed. He sees others have joy that he might have had, if he had acted and lived differently, and he is his own accuser.
Having the intelligence he had in earth life, he realizes that his condition in the Spirt world is the result of his own actions. Hell of fire and brimstone could not be worse than his torture of mind. What can be worse than mental agony? Oh, that he could get away from himself! Oh, that he could go back to earth life and live over even a small portion of that wasted opportunity! He sees others who have obeyed and served their Maker, and notes their happiness. This only adds to the realization of what "he has missed." In earth-life he refused to consider, now he learns fully the meaning of Paul's warning, "Be not deceived; God is not mocked; for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap"(Galatians 6:7).
He reaps a crop of regret, remorse, suspense, and a lake of fire and brimstone could not be worse than his agony of mind. The climax of his misery is the knowledge that his Maker knows his record in every detail and that he must stand before God and be judged according to his works.
Summer has gone and my soul is not saved. My earth-life was one of selfish gratification. I did there as I pleased. Now I must yield to the demands of justice and pay the penalty to the "uttermost farthing." When I finally "rise and stand before God," I will be judged by the book of my life. How horrible, how unbearable! With such a record, what can I expect?